You Don't Know Squat

You Don't Know Squat
     You don't know squat. And until recently, neither did I. I am here to tell you that I now know squat and am willing to share the secret with you.
     First, a bit of background. I don't -- or didn't -- know squat because I was incorrectly taught. If you are middle-aged, some of this may ring true for you as well. Back in the bad old days, all you needed to teach kids PT was some sort of demonstrated athletic ability, and a few weeks of teacher training. As a result, some of the teachers were more suited to being boot camp instructors than working with impressionable young minds and bodies. I was first taught by a former assistant-games-mistress from England. She was excellent. She showed us exactly how to do each activity and demanded that we do it perfectly. Unfortunately, she did not demonstrate squats. Over the next several years I was taught by a dopey little skinny-minny who was more interested in being everyone's friend than in teaching; a very famous professional football player; and a nationally-ranked competitive gymnast. Then came my nemesis:  an ex-military drill instructor. Oh my word. He taught us to do squats, and was pretty precise about it, too. Back ramrod straight and perpendicular to the ground; weight forward on the toes; bring the rear-end down to touch the heels. That is actually about as bass-ackward as it gets, and yet that is what stuck in my mind all this time, even after I was seriously (and permanently) injured in his class. When I wanted to immediately stop and seek medical attention, he threatened to give me a failing grade and get me expelled for insubordination. To this day (well, to this week) I have hated squats and been unable to do them without severe pain in my knees.
     That is because I have been doing them WRONG! It is possible that you do not have the correct form for this wonderful exercise, either.
     No matter how often I heard it, I could not figure out how to make a squat "work" with my knees NOT projecting past my toes. Maybe there was something wrong with the shape of my knees? Having a good grasp of mathematics and physics, I could tell that if you bent at the hips and knees with the back perpendicular and the backside heading for the heels, the knees HAD TO go out past the toes. And that way madness lies. Or at least pain.
     Leslie Sansone's 2013 DVD "Walk It Off In 30 Days" finally showed me the error of my ways. Here is the secret. First, set up with the correct form. Imagine a trickle of icy water down your back; that will align your spine. Imagine a bright, colourful push-pin tacking your belly button to your spine; that will engage your abs. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, toes pointed SLIGHTLY outward, and wiggle your toes; that  establishes your balance. Now STICK OUT YOUR BUM and pretend you are going to sit down on a kitchen chair. That's right, stick it right out there. This seems to be the only way to squat with your weight on your heels (not on your toes), and keep your knees from travelling past your toes. It sounds pretty simple, and it works, but nobody ever gave me that little tip before. Now you can really use this excellent exercise to strengthen your entire lower body. Do it slowly. Don't go too deep. Pay attention to your form. Stick out your bum. Do you think you look silly? Just remember the wise words of my late mother:  "If people don't like what they see, they don't have to look!" So true.